The Empty Table Test: What Your Networking Strategy Says About You

Walking into the Okoboji Entrepreneurial Institute as the new person, I faced that familiar moment every professional knows too well... scanning the room, reading the dynamics, deciding where to position myself in a space full of strangers.

Most people look for the "right" table - somewhere they'll fit in, somewhere they'll be welcomed, somewhere that feels safe.

I do the opposite.

I choose the empty table. Or I stand alone. And then I watch what happens. Over the years while working to understand my own behaviors, I naturally gravitate towards empty tables, I began to notice who includes others and who doesn't - insights that reveal the character traits that really matter in professional relationships: empathy, confidence, and genuine collaboration.

Sculpture located on walking trail near Pearson Lakes Art Center

Because here's what I've learned over the years inside the marketing world - your networking strategy reveals whether you're collecting contacts or identifying true character.

The Empty Table Strategy

It sounds simple, but sitting at an empty table in a professional setting is actually a social psychology experiment. You're creating an opportunity for inclusion and seeing who has the character to take it.

When you position yourself as the person sitting alone, you instantly reveal three types of people in any room:

• The Story Tellers - These are the people who see someone sitting alone and think, "I should join them." They're confident enough to approach strangers, empathetic enough to include outsiders, and curious enough to wonder what they might learn from someone new. These were consistently the most interesting conversations I had.

• The Traditional Roles - These people see the empty table and calculate whether you're worth their time based on some quick hierarchy assessment. They're protecting their status, their network, their perceived position in the room. They avoid the unknown because it doesn't serve their agenda.

• The Cheerleaders - These people don't even register the empty table. They're too focused on following others, gaining social proof, or waiting for someone else to make the first move. They're great supporters but more comfortable following than leading. (I consider myself typically fitting into this category and the one above, though I continue working on many attributes that could use improvements.)

When They Don't Offer: Take the Seat

But here's the other part of my strategy: if I see a closed circle that's only connecting with each other, I don't wait for an invitation that's never coming.

I approach kindly but clearly: "Mind if I join you?"

Sometimes I just take the seat and introduce myself.

This isn't about being pushy - it's about testing for collaborative spirit. The people who say "Of course, pull up a chair" are usually the ones worth knowing. The ones who hesitate or make excuses reveal something else entirely.

I sat at one table where two people couldn't even make eye contact with me. They continued their conversation as if I wasn't there, creating an invisible wall that made connection impossible.

That kind of behavior doesn't just shut out one person - it reveals how someone treats people they perceive as "service providers" versus equals. It shuts out the possibility of learning anything new, discovering unexpected opportunities, or expanding their perspective beyond their existing circle.

These people are essentially closing themselves off from all the cool, innovative ideas that might come from outside their immediate network.

They're protecting something, but what they're really doing is limiting themselves.

What This Really Tests For

Traditional networking advice tells you to find your "tribe," to connect with people like you, to position yourself strategically. But that approach often creates echo chambers and missed opportunities.

The empty table test reveals character traits that predict the quality of professional relationships:

Empathy - Who notices when someone might need inclusion?

Confidence - Who's secure enough to approach strangers?

Curiosity - Who's interested in perspectives outside their existing circle?

Collaboration - Who sees diverse connections as valuable rather than threatening?

Professional Applications

This strategy works beyond conference networking:

• In client meetings: Watch who includes the quiet person or acknowledges the junior team member. That tells you about leadership style and company culture.

• At industry events: The person eating alone might be the most innovative thinker in the room, but only if you're brave enough to find out.

• During team dynamics: Who speaks up when someone's being excluded? Who creates space for new ideas versus protecting territory?

• In hiring situations: How candidates treat support staff, handle interruptions, or respond to unexpected questions reveals more than perfect answers to scripted scenarios.

The Uncomfortable Truth

Here's what most people don't want to admit: we network with people who make us feel good about ourselves rather than people who challenge us to grow.

We gravitate toward familiar faces, similar backgrounds, predictable conversations. It's comfortable, but it's limiting.

The story tellers who joined my empty table? They were often the ones with the most unexpected insights, the most creative solutions, the most generous perspectives. They were worth knowing not because of their titles or connections, but because of how they showed up as humans.

The traditional role players who avoided the empty table? They may have had impressive credentials, but they often had the most predictable thinking and seemingly less open to collaboration.

What Your Networking Strategy Says About You

If you always network "up" - seeking people who can advance your agenda - you're collecting contacts.

If you consistently choose safe conversations with people just like you - you're collecting confirmations.

If you wait for invitations rather than creating opportunities for connection - you're collecting excuses.

But if you're willing to sit at the empty table, approach the closed circle, or include the person eating alone - you're identifying character.

And character is what creates the most valuable professional relationships.

The Question That Changes Everything

The next time you're in a professional setting, ask yourself: Am I networking to feel important, or am I networking to become more useful?

Because the people worth knowing - the story tellers, the includers, the collaborators - they're usually not the ones working the room. They're the ones making room for others.

Sometimes the most strategic networking move is to stop being strategic and start being human.

The empty table is waiting.

Who will join you says everything about who's worth your time.

And who you choose to include says everything about who you really are. And remember, the same principle applies in marketing and design. Brands that only ‘sit at safe tables’ - talking to the same audiences in the same ways - tend to echo themselves. The brands that listen, include, and explore new voices are the ones that build trust and long-term loyalty. Want to learn more about avoiding making judgment calls before you know the person, listen to: Judgement Detox with Glenn Ambrose These reflections grew out of my experience at the Okoboji Entrepreneurial Institute, hosted by Iowa Lakes Corridor - a client I’m proud to support through Vertical Marketing + Design.